I Moved…
February 27, 2010november one, two thousand and nine
November 1, 2009I need this adventure to start over once again. Do I move locations? Do I change my perspectives? Do I get to fall in love? Do I travel the world? Buy a bike?
Buy a bike->That would be fantastic. Biker Bitchiness here I come.
I think I’m longing for family. Mothers and Fathers. Sisters and Bros. Where the fuck do I find them? Where are they hiding? Where is covenant? How does that work in the “real world”?
Today on the bus I caught myself having a frequent pattern of thoughts. “I shouldn’t have to be busing” “I should have to live the way I do” “I should have to work for so little”
Where does this process come from? Obviously it leads to being un-content and miserable. Perhaps a bit of the bitterness that I taste now is simply deriving from these thoughts that I harbor and chew on constantly.
But somehow in the midst of all this, I’m thankful.
What a paradox. I’m thankful, yet I’m harboring an unhealthy feeling of entitlement. Is this my westernized pride that leads me to carry myself with this kind of an heir?
What is to be done?
A first step would be to make myself realize that I truly do capitalize on things a majority of the world could never dream of experiencing.
But I am thankful.
Am I?
(enter->self talk)
“Man I feel so privileged to live in a city where I can get places even without a car”
“Boy oh boy, I dwell in such a convenient spot and don’t even pay very much for such a luxury”
“I work in two beautiful industries that I get to pour my love and hard work ethic into daily”
“I spend time with people who influence this culture that I live in”
“I am learning about the music industry from people who actually care about me”
“I get my hair styled by the best in the city”
Good Job Melodie.
Keep it up girl.
yep.
September 7, 2009“In a moment, often many over a lifetime, a realization occurs and an ultimate confidence is possessed in who He is, His goodness, and the complete satisfaction He offers. When then does pursuit die after the fervor of the moment is lost? Where does desire hide when reality is found? The more I realize the gravity at which I am loved and pursued, the more I covet those moments as existence. I do not love, I do not desire, I do not pursue, I do not…because I am afraid of where I cannot control rejection, believing the lie that denial is a rightful option between Him and me.”
-andrew hogg
january 26
August 25, 2009“Everyday I feel more and more free from the worries of this world. Even though legitimate concerns, they are not to come between our face-to-face intimacy. I love that you allow me to get all this on my own. I mean, you are kinda leading me to stuff but you allow me to decide whether or not to truly believe it. Mom can tell me all kinds of good stuff. Pastors can tell me all kinds of good stuff. Friends can tell me all kinds of good stuff. But none of it seems relevant to me until I go through the process. Then it becomes mine. Not just what they told me but it is all mine to share with someone else who in turn will have to learn it all for themselves as well. Anyways, I really love that you really like me.”
lots of photos
July 23, 2009i think im going to start posting daily-ish photos from my iphone here. could be amusing…
yep!
(someone, please teach me the ways…)
